“Out of the mouths of babes” - even if the “babe” is turning 38 this year – gave me a good laugh a few weeks ago. There is a wonderful annual fundraiser called Taste of Key West that is always a blast to attend. You walk (elbow) your way around dozens of booths along the waterfront, wine glass in hand, sampling delicious food from the islands’ best chefs. Inevitably, there is an impromptu gathering at one of the local watering holes after the “Taste” and as the wine flows, the conversation amongst all the foodies is always lively, informative and entertaining.
Loose lips sink ships and before you could say “Sink the Vandenburg,” I’d invited 2 Cordon Bleu trained chefs to our house for dinner the following week. In the somber-sober light of day with cuppa in hand, my first thought was OMG I am nuts! The aforementioned “babe,” my grown up son Scott, thought it hilarious that I was in a lather trying to come up with a menu that would impress “THE CHEFS.” Lots of ideas were bandied about during our telephone conversation, but I was still in a quandary. A couple of days later, I received an email from said offspring saying he had worked out the perfect menu for me to prepare. Here is the menu penned by Boy Genius.
Good Morning, Mom:
Don't worry about a menu for entertaining THE CHEFS! I’ve decided to use some of my precious little free time and planned it for you. With careful consideration, here is my plan that will allow you to enjoy the company of your new friends and serve a wonderful meal with a minimum of fuss: ??
Hors d'oeuvres – Canned weenies (you know, those anemic looking little Polish thingies in the glass jar?) served with saltine crackers (always check for freshness), and of course, cold Budweiser straight from the can. Now THAT will prime even the most gourmet palate, don’tcha think???
Dinner – PB and J served on that great fluffy, stick to the roof of your mouth Wonder Bread with the crusts CAREFULLY cut off. (You can show off your knife skills with that maneuver.) Or mac and cheese is always a winner, especially the kind with the day-glow orange powdered cheese and all you add is water. Serve with white wine from a box or if you really want to splurge, a bottle of Boone’s Farm with a screw-off cap. Don’t even need to pull out your rabbit corkscrew for that one!
Dessert – Pixies sticks and Twinkies served on Nana’s antique silver tray and for an after dinner chaser, Coke Classic, slurped straight from the can.
No need to thank me, Mom. I’ll always be there to do what I can to help you. See, it is true that “the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree”. Do you think I should give up my career in the financial world and follow in your footsteps and be a food journalist, too???
Bon Appetit!
Love, ?Scott
Gotta love that kid! That’s not quite what I decided on, but I’ll definitely keep Scott’s menu for another occasion. Like his birthday dinner in October, maybe?
Paula Anderson is a contributing writer to Maine Food & Lifestyle magazine, as well as a columnist for 3 Maine Newspapers with a focus on food, nutrition, and entertaining.
