Ok, so one of my great intentions as the weather got nicer this spring had been to exercise again regularly after my grueling winter stint as a couch potato. You see, I have an excuse for everything. In the winter, naturally it was too cold and too icy to take walks, and an indoor gym membership was just too expensive and impractical, as it would ha??ve involved driving at least 15 miles to get there… and in all the snowstorms we had, forget that. So, I waited it out and wintered well like a good Mainer.

As soon as the coast was clear, I laced up my Asics and started pounding the pavement. I walked gung-ho, 3 miles a day, for a surprising 2 weeks straight. It felt good, it was a natural high, and I was addicted once again to feeling positive about myself. Then the excuses came. Too much housework was being neglected, the fridge was empty, I was so tired, I had work to do and that 1/2 hr. I was walking would just have to wait… until tomorrow.

Tomorrow turned into a few weeks of tomorrows, so, after falling off
the exercise wagon, I crawled back on again. Following an encouraging
few days of running 3 miles a day, trying in vain to relive my glory
days as a high school mile relay state champ, I ran out of steam. That
seems to happen with my all-or-nothing mindset.

So, I needed to work up to working out. And this next time it had to
be with more personal investment than mere vengeance on my slothful
soul for being such an exercise loser.

I started up a summer Kripalu Yoga class last night. It was a steamy
evening in the studio, our feet stuck to the mats as we peeled them off
to assume warrior stance, my legs shook as I practiced balance, and I
could feel massive areas of tension as my mind scanned my body. My
breathing was pathetically shallow, and with hyperventilating grace I
attempted a semblance of proper execution. People old enough to be my
grandparents were doing their deep cleansing breaths in perfect unison
with their perfectly pretzel-twisted and toned bodies, and I thought…

I am a wreck in progress.

Melanie Hyatt is an editor at Maine Food & Lifestyle magazine.